UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF PRECIPITATION PROTECTION

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM THE
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF PRECIPITATION PROTECTION

<<< ALERT >>>

Some of the fiercest and most deadly Antarctic winds created by temperature inversions on the high interior ice plateau
have caused many living creatures to lose their precipitation protection.

Umbrellas have been littering the southern hemisphere and oceans. They are scattered all over the globe, leaving United States Researchers and other Antartic bound inhabitants helpless.

<<< EXTREME CAUTION IS ADVISED >>>

This natural phenomenon occurs when drift snow is picked up and blown along the surface by the violent winds.

HUMANS AND ANIMALS ARE NOW VULNERABLE TO RAIN, HAIL, SLEET AND SNOW WITHOUT THEIR UMBRELLAS.

U.S.D.O.P.P. RADAR IMAGERY
THE FOLLOWING MAP TRACKS STRAY PRECIPITATION PROTECTION REGISTERED TO U.S. CITIZENS
COLOR DIRECTLY RELATES TO D.O.P.P. (LER) ZONE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE
IMAGERY UPDATED EVERY HOUR

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U.S.D.O.P.P. (LER) RADAR IMAGERY
THE FOLLOWING MAP DEPICTS ATMOSPHERIC ZONES AND THEIR CORRELATION TO STRAY PRECIPITATION PROTECTION
COLOR IS DIRECTLY RELATED TO DETERMINING THE D.O.P.P. (LER) ZONE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE ALERT LEVEL
SILVER DOTS INDICATE REPORTED MISSING UMBRELLA LOCATIONS.
IMAGERY CONTINUOUSLY UPDATED

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The United States Department of Precipitation Protection is a Division of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.